‘You’re Single Because of Your Ridiculously High Physical Standards’ : Man Comes Clean to Delusional Friend Who Believes Most Women Are Out of His League

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for telling my friend his physical standards are why he's single? Not the A-hole I (22M) have a friend (22M) who has never had a girlfriend or romantic experience. Now, let me say that I actually really like him as a person and think he has positive qualities. He has a solid job making $180k with a company car as a surgical device sales rep (at 22!) after graduating magna com laude. He is generally affable and easy to talk to. If his standards were just educated and good person I wou
  • 02
    Font - shape. I believe he has a distorted view because his parents constantly told him he was very handsome and could get any girl. As a result, he is exclusively interested in women who are not just successful, but also are exceptionally gorgeous. A woman, who said she just graduated from an ivy league and was a tech sales rep, was flirting with him at the bar. Though she was nice and clearly quite intelligent, and again I know I'm being brutal here, she was not very attractive. When she asked
  • 03
    Font - asked him to show me a picture of her from her social media. Sure enough, she was insanely attractive and in marketing at a big company. I just tried to sympathize. Later, I thought long and hard about it. On the one hand, I didn't want to be mean. But on the other, this has been occurring since freshman year of high school. He is now the last person in the friend group to be single and completely missed out on dating in high school and college. Say what you will, but I think that romance
  • 04
    Font - So after rehearsing what I wanted to say, I decided to sit him down and I told him "I'm going to be honest with you man, I think you should lower your physical standards. You would have way more options". He protested and said that his standards were reasonable because he's a good looking guy. I said "I hate to say it, but your approach of only going after beautiful and successful women has not worked out. Feel free to shoot your shot but I think you should also consider women that are ni
  • 05
    Rectangle - Ond Emotional Koala_ - 20 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [36] NTA - it sounds like you approached this mindfully and with good intentions. Unfortunately, a guy like this doesn't sound open to reflection about himself. These opinions tend to solidify with time, resulting in a "the women are the problem" mindset. He will either learn in time or he won't. 15.8k Share
  • 06
    Font - cuccuguvigu 17 hr. ago edited 17 hr. ago 2 @ 5 5 + While clearly NTA, I also think that conversation was unnecessary and obviously not going to pan out well. For it not even to occur to this dude that the reason he routinely turns down women (because he isn't interested in them) could possibly be the reason he's being ejected (because they're not interested in him) is ridiculous.
  • 07
    Font - But ultimately it only affects him, and all OP did was basically sit him down and tell him he thinks he's not good looking. Which like.. dude. How did you think that was gonna go? If he kept coming to me complaining about "why did she reject me?" I'd be like, "I dunno, why do you reject people who ask you out?" And if he says some garbage about her being an asshole, just be like... "whatever dude, she's allowed to not like you and that doesn't make her a jerk. Just like you're allowed to
  • 08
    Font - and it doesn't make you a jerk.” From a woman's perspective...please let him be. We don't want someone going out with us because they feel like the people they're really attracted to won't want to date us. We don't want to be "settled for." Let him continue to spin his wheels and make his choices. Don't encourage him to subject women to the inevitable unpleasantness and degradation of going out with a man who would rather be with someone else, just so he can have “experiences” with someon
  • 09
    Font - He's 22. You keep saying "8 years” like it's insane. Lots of people don't experience real dating until later in life, especially in the last 5 years or so. He has plenty of time for his own lived experience of unsuccessful attempts at dating to give him that reality check. He doesn't need you to do it. 4.5k Share
  • 10
    Font - derpne13 17 hr. ago Quote: "If he kept coming to me complaining about "why did she reject me?" I'd be like, "I dunno, why do you reject people who ask you out?"** This is brilliant. 3.5k Share
  • 11
    Font - Dull-Owl-1763 - 20 hr. ago NTA. Honestly, you've risked looking like the bad guy to genuinely help your friend because you want him to be happy and you spent time and energy thinking how to do that in a way that wouldn't hurt his feelings. You didn't call him unattractive or say they were out his league, you just said it wasn't working out and he should maybe try something new. I think you're a mensch. 4.2k Share

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